You May Be Unapproachable

As a leader or manager, the last thing you want is to be unapproachable. Yet, that’s exactly what may be happening.
As a precaution, do a self-check. Candidly reflect on your behavior. See if you have any of these characteristics:
    I’VE MADE MY DECISION
Making a decision isn’t the problem here. It’s the process of how you hear and appreciate dissent from your subordinates, peers, or even superiors.
When you make declarations like, “I’ve made my decision. That’s it.” you establish a distant posture. Those around you may not object or disagree, but they may want to discuss your decisions or offer a view that you may not have considered.
Cutting off conversation in this way generates a message that reads, “The decision I made could be wrong. Even if it is, my ego requires no changes.” And, with that background message, you become unapproachable.
    DON’T BRING A PROBLEM WITHOUT A SOLUTION
While it is admirable that you want those around you to carefully consider problems and their potential solutions, the fact is they may not have the capacity to do so. Their experience may be limited. Their knowledge may be narrow and outside the scope of the problem they see.
You raise a substantial brick wall around you if you make comments like, “Don’t talk to me about a problem unless you come prepared with a solution.”
If, for whatever reason, your subordinate has no solution to accompany their problem, they will move into automatic retreat. Discussion or brainstorming to uncover a potential solution is then out of the question.
And, worse still, if the subordinate has developed a possible solution, and if they are aware of your attitude, they will still suppress any new ideas and withdraw. After all, their solution may not pass your muster for an acceptable solution.
Here again, you make yourself unapproachable.
    JUST TELL ME EVERYTHING IS WORKING
“I don’t want to hear about problems. Just tell me that everything is working. All I want to hear is good news.”
This is classic managerial blindness. There are catastrophic results from this type of comment. It becomes an unspoken and priority setting directive: “I’d rather see harm come to the organization than to acknowledge a problem.”
With this attitude you not only become unapproachable, but you breach your duty.
    I AM BUSY
To repel a co-worker, you need not overtly say, “Don’t bother me. I’m busy.” You can achieve the same results in a more subtle way. If you physically and emotionally present a harried, bothered, stressed, and pressured style you will send the same meaning.
With such an attitude, you present an underlying view that your time and workload is more valuable and pressing than any other person. Hence, important and vital information can bypass you.
Here, again, you become unapproachable.
    I AM IN A CRISIS
Sometimes, a manager or leader can project anxiety when involved with a current or pressing problem. Even if this is an infrequent event, co-workers will steer clear until the apparent crisis passes. The result: You’re out of the information channel because you are unapproachable.
    I LOVE TO TALK
With some people, even a friendly, “Good morning,” could trigger a landslide of conversation of topics ranging from the neighbor’s cat to a presidential election. Work topics may or may not enter your dialogue.
If you are addicted to talking, you can cause others to think twice before they waste their time and energy. Although well intentioned, extensive talking can cause you to be unapproachable.
    THE ANTIDOTE
If you’ve made a self-check and realize a flaw that may make you unapproachable, there is good news. The problem is easily fixed.
Begin now by cultivating a style and demeanor that is open and receptive to others as they approach you with their needs. Give them your focused attention and listen.
You’ll be glad you made the change.
   — Joel Stock
   — [H03B]